I love your comparison of thoughts and mentality to music. It's an interesting take on the subject and the creativity of it is amazing. Beautiful piece.

--
We speak in riddles
Expecting the world
To listen between the lines

I've been fighting the doctor's push for medication recently myself. I feel that it is arrogant of them to claim they understand "normal" brain function. As if eight years of medical school has given them a full understanding of thousands of years of evolution. I mean, evolution happens through mutation, so by suppressing unique brain patterns, aren't they also suppressing what may be modern human evolution? I'm sure they have counter-arguments, but I'm still reluctant to let my soul be bottled by their prescriptions. I still need to go back and see what kind of response they have for that line of thinking.

Basically, "Are you trying to play God with my body? Can't I just be myself? Even if it is hard?"

Thank you so much.

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YER DEAD MEAT. D:<

I've been just diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I was prescribed seroquel, an anti-psychotic. That shit is terrible, really. I would eat two meals for breakfast and still be extremely hungry half hour later. My mind would have a constant veil of fog all day long. I would also get heart palpitations. All that for the smallest dose of 50 mg. So I insisted that I would stop taking it, and convinced my mom that I would go find another medication that would work for me. I won't be trying any other medications until Wednesday.

Convincing my parents that I can live without medication isn't an easy feat. All I ever hear is "Oh, it's like diabetics, they take medication. Except you're taking medication for your brain." OH, SO I'M MENTALLY ILL? I don't really consider some of our world's greatest minds (Beethoven, Edison, van Gogh, who are are believed to be bipolar) to be "ill." If these people had such a debilitating illness, then why did they go on to do such extraordinary things?

It's crap. Sure, maybe I am bipolar. Sometimes I get the lowest lows ever, but mania can bring me ideas, that spark. It doesn't matter to me if I'm staying up until 4 am every night if I'm creating something. I am not sitting on my arse decomposing while watching MTV, like the rest of the teenage population. And who's to say our brains are responsible for our feelings? I feel like the best times of my short 16 year old life, the times I felt more in control, were the times when I had a deep understanding of myself and my spirituality. Maybe I just need a tune up.


I'm sick of the obsession with medication in our society. Honestly, is a pill going to fix your problems? No, you have to dig deeper. Sure, these pills can "stabilize" you, but the mental dullness you get from them is just unforgivable.

Sorry, long rant. But I totally feel you.

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YER DEAD MEAT. D:<

I heard the diabetic argument too, it must come in the "how to snare a patient" handbook. But this isn't diabetes. These are our personalities. My favorite example is Einstein; I hear he had an abnormal fusion between his left and right lobes which may have helped him discover the theory of relativity. If that's abnormal, hook me up.

I also agree with you, I'd rather be manic than a zombie. I like euphoria, and if that means suffering through the occasional spell of depression, I think it's a fair trade.

I still haven't been "diagnosed" and the more I hear about the treatments that get pushed onto people, the more I think I'd rather not be. I feel like I already know my "mental illness"; I'm human.

Recently I've been stuck on the idea that science toppled religion only to replace it. But instead of teaching us how to heal ourselves naturally through meditation, thought, prayer and communicating with the people around us... science teaches us how to open the medicine cabinet and suppress our natural psychology with medication.

I'm sure there are cases when those things are needed, the criminally insane and those unable to care for themselves obviously need some sort of help. But doctors are far too quick to push quick-fix solutions, without fully understanding the long-term impact on a person's life. One of my friends was diagnosed with ADD when he was 8 years old and spent the next 9 or so years on Addorall, a type of clinically improved amphetamine. I think he would have been better off with a good mentor than a good medication.

Keep talking to your parents and anyone else you can. Reach out to friends you know you can trust. Tell the doctor's how you feel and listen to their arguments and suggestions. But be ready to tell them "No" over and over again if it doesn't feel right.

And no apology needed, this is all very helpful to me as I prepare myself to lecture my doctor. I refuse to be a "patient" for somebody with a degree and a god-complex to "save". No doctor will ever understand me as well as I understand myself, so I should be treated as their equal or even their superior when it comes to the best ways to help myself feel good.

Who knows, maybe two-way rants like these will help others through the pill epidemic which is sweeping through modern society.

Very welcome

--
We speak in riddles
Expecting the world
To listen between the lines